Wait.

Recently I overheard a conversation between a mother and son. The son telling his mother that kissing meant nothing these days, and the mother saying that a kiss meant so much. This is a blog so I get to throw my own opinion around and you all can read it or not.

Why has a kiss degraded itself to nothing? Surely it isn't the fault of the kiss itself. The lazy response might be something along the lines of "times are changing" or "its just what our generation does". It isn't. I have talked to many people over the years, and I have been told that they just need to kiss the other person to know if things will work out, or if things are right. I have been told that kissing or making out is no big deal, almost as if it is a pass time, I have even been told that kissing should only happen when you are seriously committed to the one you are dating and then it shouldn't be passionate kissing, because passionate kissing leads to other things. I have been told many things on a wide spectrum. Here is what I think.

Kissing is good. As an action can speak much louder than saying "I love you" 3 words that I don't think are said enough, nor said with meaning when they are said. What even is love? The dictionary defines it as an intense feeling of deep affection. My personal experience with thoughts of love are; not wanting to be apart from someone no matter the consequences, a willingness to serve and put their needs and desires above your own, and probably more important than any of that, really striving to make that other person feel like they matter, and have value in your eyes. In short trying to leave the other person in a better state than you found them. Not as a project, but as someone that really actually matters to you. 

Off of my little side track there, imagine putting all of that thought and feeling into a kiss. It doesn't have to mean everything that everybody else tells you it means, but at the very least it should mean something. I have heard stories of people trading kisses like they might trade dessert in a grade school lunch room. It is sad to me personally at least to see that kind of a thing go on, because if it means that little now what will change its meaning in the future? 

My thoughts are something like this... When you think about going in for that next kiss, wait. Think for a second. What does this mean to me? What does this mean to them? Am I looking forward to being in a relationship with this person? Are they with me? How much is my kiss worth? If we look at kisses like the government does money and we just keep on rolling them out without thought, what will our kisses be worth when the worth really matters? When we get married... When we kiss our children good night before they go to bed... When we move into the future do we want to be rich or poor? What is the value of a relationship? I don't say this to stop people from moving forward with relationships, but rather to think about what you are putting into them. 

so just wait for a second. think for a second. 

do everything with a purpose. hearts are not toys to be played with. many are more fragile than your mom's fancy china that she pulls out for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and all are of countless worth.

then if you can think about all of that with a clear conscience, enjoy your kiss.

Faith vs Fear

Faith vs Fear 

So lately I have been seeing a lot of examples of faith vs fear in my life and lives of my friends and family. We know that these two words are complete opposites. Faith casts out fear, and fear overcomes the faithless.

Everybody faces this battle every day. Whether it is to step out of their comfort zone to do something good, or to just make better choices. Sometimes it comes to us on a personal level, and sometimes it is even bigger. So I just want to kind of talk about a few examples that really hit home on a personal level for me.

First off is the faith vs fear battle of dating.

To be perfectly honest I have a whole spiel that I could go on about with dating, but I will try to keep it brief as I don't want to bore the readers. The faith that it takes for a guy to ask a girl out is often times a titanic amount, depending on the self confidence levels of the guy. That being said I find it funny how many of these guys as they ask girls out are being "friend zoned" and then girls turn right around and say that they never go on dates. Now this is not to say that girls should go on a date with whatever guy comes up to them and asks them out, but rather that they shouldn't be so quick to turn somebody down because they don't think they will enjoy the date. 

So guys have faith that eventually a girl will say yes.

Girls have faith that you can enjoy time with more than just the best looking guys.

If not we will enter a fear cycle where nobody goes on dates anymore and that will just suck... for all of us.

Fear is oftentimes a preventative. It slows or stops us from doing good things, or even hard things that will help us to grow and progress in life. If we can overcome that fear and look for the good things that come from the trials we pass through, life will become more fulfilling and enjoyable. 

Second is faith vs fear of missionary work.

I was sitting in church today and listened to a talk that was full of faith about going out and sharing with those around us the Gospel of Jesus Christ that we enjoy so much. I felt inspired to overcome my fears of that and to go out and invite others to come unto Christ so that they might enjoy the happiness that I find in living his Gospel. It is obviously a hard thing to do, as we don't do it all the time. It is a chore for us. Nobody likes chores. I do want to share an experience though. 

Friday I went to the Food Day at the institute, and sitting down and getting acquainted with those around me I got to talk to somebody who knew a young man that had gone a little off the path, and was inactive and losing his testimony. For whatever reason I felt my spirit stir, whether for the reason that I have felt that way myself in my own life, and had a hard journey back, or quite simply because he is my brother in the Lord and I needed to help him come back I don't know. I set a plan in motion to actually go visit him today and see what we can do. As I drove home and was reflecting upon what I was setting in motion to go do I felt an overwhelming feeling of love. The love that Christ has for me, and for his wayward brother. It was an amazing feeling, and a feeling that I hope that I can feel repeatedly throughout this semester in a quest to bring others to him or back to him.

Chores and work stop being hard when we learn to love them. When we feel the joy and happiness that comes from doing it because our heart is in it, all things lose the pain of hard work and begin to be delicious to us.

So my friends. Be faithful. Seek to push forward and grow. There will be many trials and obstacles along the way, but they make the journey worth it. Keep your eyes on the beauty around you and learn to enjoy all the little things in life. Fear not. Fear is the greatest crippling emotion that we as humans can have. Learn to overcome it.

Proverbs 28:1

The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are bold as a lion.

 

Reflection

Boy has it been a while since I have last written here. So many things have happened since I last wrote. I don't even know where to begin. I guess it is time to rededicate this blog. I am going to start writing about things that take place in my personal spiritual journey. Things that happen in my physical journey. Finally I will also write about my emotional journey.

In the medieval time period there were warriors called crusaders. They called themselves such as they claimed to be warriors for Christ, often seeking for salvation at the claims of the church that fighting in a crusade would provide them with such. Almost like the modern day jihad claims that those who die fighting for Allah will attain paradise and 72 virgins.

I'm not really shooting for killing people here, but I do want to be a spiritual warrior of sorts. I'm not the most spiritual guy, or the most knowledgeable, but I know where I stand, and that is with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I believe that by following his example I will someday be able to attain the perfection that he commands us to attain in both Matthew in the New Testament and 3 Nephi in the Book of Mormon. 

I recently started going to college. It has definitely helped me improve my social skills, that quite honestly were lacking. Aside from that however I have been able to see the true morals that people have. I have found people struggling and fighting through life just like I am, and I see how kind they are to others. I have found people struggling and fighting the world and they act as though they do it alone. I know some of the coolest people in the world I am sure of it.

First off, I want to start with paying tribute to my mom. She is the most remarkable woman I know. Despite all of the hard things I have seen her go through in the past years, (there have been TONS) she still manages to love everybody around her. Right now my dad is the bishop(like a pastor) of a Young Single Adult ward(congregation) in our city. Every time my mom has participated down there (this is her second time around) she has managed to find someone to wrap her arms around and love. She likes adopting new kids that are too old to be adopted. Her love extends beyond bounds that I can even comprehend. Imagine getting to live with, learn from, and be around someone like that your entire childhood. I am truly blessed.

Next up is my dad. To be perfectly honest I have not always seen eye to eye with my dad. Growing up we constantly butted heads. I have had the great fortune of growing up, if only a little. My dad is awesome. Being a bishop is extremely taxing. On top of that he works hard to support his family, and somehow even manages to spend time with us throughout the week. Including a weekly date with my mom. He is dedicated, loving, and patient with everybody around him. There are times that he struggles, but who doesn't. We are all human. I am grateful to have the relationship I do with my dad. He even plays basketball with me. (even though he is over 50 years old)

I am going to try to keep the rest of this to a minimum. However I want to mention the rest of my family and friends as people who have helped me to grow to become who I am today. They have been very patient in putting up with me, and even taking the time to help me out and teach me.

So I guess my real message today is this. Family matters. Maybe you don't have the "ideal" family, but family are the people that love you no matter what. The ones who don't care how many times you have screwed up, but are willing to be there for you always. If you find yourself estranged from those surrounding you, and feel totally and completely alone, remember Christ. He is always there, no matter how many hard things we have gone through, or are going through. In the prolific words of President Gordon B. Hinkley,

If life gets too hard to stand, kneel. 

The Gift of Friendship

If your bad habit screams, "Me First," Break it.

If your spirit cries with thirst, Slake it.
If for company you yearn
And someone else's trust you earn,
When friendship's offered in return, Take it!

Just place your hand in his or hers; Grip it.
If imagined slight occurs, Skip it.
See what's needed, then give more.
And if a weed springs up, before
It chokes the path to your friend's door, Snip it!

If gratitude or praise is due, Heap it.
If a secret's shared with you, Keep it.
When a seed has taken root,
Beside your friend stand resolute,
And when the full-grown tree bears fruit, Reap it!

~Mary Sullivan Georgetown, TX, USA

Sportsmanship

Being a good sport is a great way to make new friends, and generally good ones at that. Sportsmanship can apply to any area of life where competition is involved. Which is generally everywhere. From the board room to the game board it can work. A few reasons to have good sportsmanship in a win or a loss.

1) People will respect you for having it when you win and when you lose.
2) You can attract more bees with honey than with vinegar and the same is true with people
3) It is just more fun to be a good sport about stuff
4) You can learn more if you are humble than prideful and sportsmanship involves humility

Learning the rules and then playing by them is another part of sportsmanship. Integrity will win more hearts than success through deceit will. If you love something go for it too, don't be discouraged by failure early on in new ventures, keep working and pursuing the things you love and you will get to where you want. The feeling of success after hard work is awesome, and I can testify of it.

Most people that know me know I play Ultimate Frisbee... a lot. I started playing just a little over a year ago and fell in love with it. I started out utterly horrible at it. I knew one way of throwing the disc and couldn't throw it very well at all. Through patience of the awesome people I played with and a little help and direction from almost everybody, I got better. I bought my own discs not long after starting and started practicing every night. The best part was I took my little sister out and made her help me practice. (she loves the sport now too) Now a little over a year later, being able to throw the disc all sorts of different ways and actually knowing what I am doing, I have come to know success through hard work and determination.

In short, don't give up, do your best, and be a good sport about it and you can't really fail at what you do.

Modesty

Easily one of the biggest problems facing the world today, immodesty can be seen anywhere. From the behavior of sports stars and actors, plunging necklines and dropping skirt and short length, and even the purchases we make.

I am going to start with the behavior issues with modesty. Though most people believe modesty to deal with clothes it is part of just about everything we do. I have friends that seem to be slightly obsessed with sports, and that is totally cool. It is a great thing to have a passion for something. What gets me is some of the ways that super star athletes act out these days. Being jerks and doing stupid things for publicity. It isn't the way things used to be as far as I remember. Being in the spotlight all the time it would be nice if a better example was set for the hundreds of thousands of people that look up to them all the time. Being modest about accomplishments and not flaunting them everywhere you go is a great way to make friends.

Next up purchases. Buying big and extravagant stuff that you don't need can send a very wrong message to everybody around you. Mainly that you have lots of money and can buy those great big things that most others might not be able to afford. Would it not be a better choice to put money into something that will have a lasting and positive difference on others? Humanitarian work is huge with all the worldwide catastrophes going on, there are people going hungry and without homes or even a bed to sleep in. Is it not better to maybe get less for you and more for somebody else? The best way to get something out of life is to give what you want away. Aside from generally getting it back you gain something immediately when you give it away. Remember to be modest with what you buy, try to only get what you need.

Last but not least will be the fashion issue, and this is from a guys perspective. Modest clothing is starting to become more and more rare. When a girl wears tight clothes or a shirt that gives you any kind of view of cleavage makes me sick to my stomach. The reason for this being that every single female on this planet is a precious soul, and degrading your body for worldly gain is in my eyes no different than going to a public place and cutting large holes in yourself. A desperate plea for attention and not in a positive direction. There is no positive thing that can come from some guy being able to see down your shirt or up your skirt. All you do is put yourself on a butcher's table as a piece of meat, rather than someone with value. The most attractive girls in the whole world are the ones that have a brilliant countenance. It has nothing to do with what you wear to cover your body, but how you act and carry yourself that is attractive. A smile that carries to your eyes, a quick wit, confidence, and compassion are what will suck at least ME in to be attracted to a girl.

The way you dress can advertise your personality. I often look for funny shirts when I go clothes shopping. I enjoy seeing the reaction of others as they see it or read it and laugh. Bright colors generally will project a bright personality and dull colors a dull personality. Showing more skin will project that you want to be seen more as to things of the body rather than your mind. Be careful to wear clothes that won't reveal more than you want to be seen.

Modest is hottest.
Be seen for who you are.


You are Wonderful :)

Passing on positivity

I went to Smith's this morning because I needed to get a few things for dinner tonight. I found what I needed and went to the checkout line. There was a man behind me and he only had one item, and was holding it on the belt as the person in front of me was grabbing their change. I moved the little divider to between my stuff and his, and the most awesome thing happened. He told me "You're Wonderful." it was totally out of the blue and unexpected and so cool. So we talked a little bit and the cashier talked a little too. The moral of the story is passing on positivity.

Even an hour later I still am feeling the effects of being called wonderful by a complete stranger. I just feel happy and cheerful and like I could take on the world and win with a smile. If this one small act can have that big of an impact on me, I wonder what it could do for other people that might actually be having a hard time or a rough day. It will be something to try, and something I will definitely need to work up the courage to do, but I want to try it and see how it goes.

Nothing big today, just the story and my new goal. Also I think a challenge... Try to pass a little positivity on to somebody else that may or may not need it.


You are Wonderful :)